Living With Gusto

You Are MORE!

 

what-we-believe-about-ourselves

It doesn’t matter what is being said about you.

It doesn’t matter what others think of you.

What matters is what you think of yourself!

And if you believe lies about yourself, then you will act on those lies instead of the truth.

 

Any words that make you seem “less than” the amazing person you were created to be is a LIE!

Those words may come from the chatter in your brain, just regurgitating things you have heard.

They may come from actual people who are small-minded and have their own agenda.

 

But whatever the source, you need to STOP listening to the derogatory lies and begin to speak truth to yourself.

Because when you believe lies, you think small about yourself.

It’s pretty hard to launch out of your comfortable, ho-hum, dream-draining life by thinking small.

You can barely rise to doing those things the world needs from you–your purpose for being here.

 

the-only-thing-that-benefits-from-thinking-small-is-your-comfort-zone

“But I don’t WANT to leave my comfort zone! It’s comfortable.”

Ummm, yeah. And it’s restricting and limiting. (Redundant, I know, going for the effect.)

And leaving your comfort zone is like jumping off the high dive.

 

But don’t you want to be the best you can be?

Don’t you want to realize amazing and wonderful things about yourself–things you never knew?

When we rocket ourselves (because that’s what it takes!) outside of our comfort zone to do those things that our heart really, really longs to do, all kinds of new worlds and information opens up to us! It could become quite an adventure–mine has!

 

And the wonderful thing is that our hearts and spirits become more fulfilled as we begin to venture out and try things our heart is leading us to do.

**Things the lies make us afraid to do.**

 

Lies like:

“I am not smart enough for that.

I could never go in front of people.

I really do not have the “look” required for that.

I don’t have the time for that.

No one needs me.

I’m not qualified.

I’m just a ________.” Oh how I hate that word!

 

The lies (excuses) are limitless.

But so are YOU!!

Limitless.

The only thing holding you back is you.

 

Stop believing lies and restricting the amazing, capable, beautiful person you are!

You CAN do this! I know, because I did.

 

Love and big sparkly hugs!

Passionista

 

I speak from experience!! Seriously!

If you would like to read more, here are some older posts on the subject.

To Dream (when I jumped off the high dive myself!)

The Lies That Bind

The Lies That Bind Magazine Article (a much longer article in more detail)

Start Anew

 

 

 

 

 

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Living With Gusto

The Lies That Bind Us

 

You were created for a purpose

and are amazing,

creative,

valuable,

and productive.

YOU were born to shine!!

I was born to shine

Do you believe that? Or do you struggle to believe that you were born to shine because instead you believe lies about yourself? Perhaps lies like you are stupid, unlovable, you will never amount to anything, you are ugly, or you are worthless.

If so, these lies are the result of believing negative things you have felt or that people have said about you. Many of us have done that and are now full of hurt and feel broken.

So what do I mean when I say “lies”?

 

Lies are thoughts or the words and actions of others that cause us to behave in a self-defeating or destructive way. Lies are limiting because they create FEAR and hold us back.

I describe fear as

Firmly Encouraging and Allowing Rubbish.

When we listen to all that rubbish going on in our brain it’s impossible to be our real, true selves. Most likely we haven’t been taught about how thought processes work so we continue to believe rubbish about ourselves. It piles up over the years until we have a whole ton of garbage that weighs us down. My goal is to help you, in a simplified way, understand how our thoughts can work against us.

The lies we believe during our formative years set us up to believe lies as adults. By the time we become adults we are firmly entrenched in this belief system which affects how we consider ourselves.

5 belief determines behavior

Belief Determines Behavior

So how do we change our belief system so we can change our behavior?

Find out how by reading my article here.

 

If you’d like to read my first post on this subject (because it’s one that is dear to my heart), find it here.

 

May your life be blessed as you incorporate these ideas to help you live with fullness and freedom from the fear that binds.

Love and big hugs along this journey,

Passionista

 

Words To Help

We Can’t Give More Than What We Are

we can't give more than what we are

Without giving ourselves compassion,

 we can’t be compassionate.

When we judge ourselves harshly,

we can’t be accepting.

If we feel that our lives lack,

we can’t give generously.

When we feel that we are not enough,

we can’t lift up and applaud others.

When we take ourselves too seriously,

we can’t enjoy life.

If we don’t love ourselves unconditionally,

we can’t truly love others without conditions.

If we aren’t honest with ourselves,

we can’t grow and change.

These are truths I’ve gleaned over the years

of re-inventing myself.

Of becoming the person I was truly created to be.

I believe JOY

Your life is amazing. If you are breathing, you have something to be grateful for. And gratefulness will create joy. It will bring abundance (I’m not talking monetary value, but the value of life, friends, and passions that fill your soul.)

And just in case you were wondering…..there is enough for all of us.

Enough love

passion

friends

work

joy

adventure

creativity

We have a tendency to view the world from our little worm hole

and think that we are never, ever going to be enough, have enough, or live enough.

I used to be like that.

Then I realized that there are billions of people. Millions of opportunities.

We live in a great big world.

And though you may not especially like your life right now, it can change.

Change is always possible.

Of course, it means conquering the limiting emotion of fear.

It means you have to stop lying to yourself. 

To change means becoming vulnerable.

YIKES!! No way! I can’t do it! I’m so afraid! It will hurt too much.

And what will happen to me?

Change will happen. Better will happen. Abundance will happen.

So will love, joy, adventure, assurance, confidence, and fulfillment.

I’m rooting for you, cheering you on as you make wise, healthy choices toward becoming more so you can give more.

For it’s in giving that we grow toward abundance.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you have a wonderful week.

Love and hugs, Passionista

Living With Gusto

Be Whooo You Be and Bee Happy!

I’m hoping you are not like me–

wasting precious years not liking yourself

because of the lies you believe. You

are a unique creation,

full of amazing qualities,

quirks,

possibility,

and personality.

Celebrate YOU today!!

Be whooo you be and bee happy

You are truly a delightful and precious treasure!

Hugs and love, Mimi

P.S. Click on the pink “lies you believe” link  above to read my own realization and process. 

Words To Help

YOU are Amazing!! And don’t you forget it!

You are amazing with a side of sprinkles
You can buy this card HERE!

You ARE amazing!! I finally began to believe that about myself after a few days of saying it out loud in front of the mirror. The year was 2008. For most of my life I’d felt “less-than” so it took a bit of making a firm choice and perseverance to follow this program.

 

I’d sit in front of my empty journal page, pull those truths from my spirit, and begin writing them down in bulleted format. I’d walk around my house, saying, “I’m intelligent. I’m capable. I can do this. I’m creative. I’m a great problem-solver.”

 

Granted, I was almost afraid that I’d be struck by lightning because I’d been raised not to “toot my own horn” or brag about myself. However, I am here to STOMP that lie in the ground! Stating your awesomeness and joy in your uniqueness and abilities, your gifts and wonderful heart, is NOT bragging. It’s just proclaiming truth.

Oh my goodness I'm incredible!
You can buy this card HERE!

We need to both hear and say those truths to ourselves because the world would have us believing that we are stupid, useless, and incapable (to just name a few). Well, dear Passionista, THAT is a bunch of hog wash! Lies, every bit of it!

 

If you have trouble finding the truth about yourself, there are many, many resources even on Facebook that will help you. (I am one of those). But honestly, your spirit KNOWS. Give yourself time to reflect. Probably just choose the opposite of what you most likely believe about yourself, if it is degrading or detrimental to your emotional and psychological health and growth.

 

 To be the very best YOU possible, you need to invest in yourself. Take the time. Even on the way to work if it’s your only alone time. (Ummm, reminding yourself that you are amazing after you swear at that driver might not be the best way, but hey, if it works for you go for it!) Or while you are in the shower—IF you happen to enjoy that by yourself–but getting upset with your body while you are stating your incredible amazing -ness  is quite counteractive.  Our bodies do NOT determine our awesomeness!

 beauty is not in the face

 I just want to encourage you to feed your own soul. As women we take care of everyone else, which can sure lead to resentment and exhaustion. Doing this is a small, but huge and important, way to nourish yourself.

 

 So what do you say? Let me know some of your “truths” in the comment below. I’d love to hear from you! ❤

Love and hugs, Passionista

 

PS Hey, I have created some visuals (cards and small posters and a calendar) for you to place where you will see them to help remind you to state your truths daily. If interested, go to https://www.etsy.com/shop/EmPOWordmentCards or contact me directly. They help, they really do, and I created them with YOU in mind. Luv ya.

PPS Here are a few places I receive empowerment and encouragement.

Wild Sister Magazine     https://www.facebook.com/wildsistermag

When you join, please use my link! Thanks. http://wildsister.com/sisterhood?ap_id=mimimatthews

MEF’s Empowering Women and More     https://www.facebook.com/reinna911

Women on Fire   https://www.facebook.com/BeAWomanOnFire

Words To Help

The Lies That Bind

lie

So many of us hold as truth myths, or lies, that govern our lives, our choices, and our behaviors! I know I did (still do, I’m sure). BUT…
Who taught us these lies/myths we believe are true? The old adage “If you tell a lie long enough it becomes truth to you” applies here! Unfortunately, we accept what society or even family has taught us, believe it as truth, act on it–without even considering whether it is true, much less determining whether it’s something we should embrace in OUR lives. (I’m SO guilty of that!)

“It’s the fact that this principle or value they hold onto so tightly is impeding their progress to move forward that should be alarming.” says Shari Goldsmith in her article Mythbusters,  http://www.thewomensbook.com/Find-Your-Inner-Sass/February-2013/Mythbusters/ . It’s an easy read, packed with guidance that’s worth pondering.

One of the most dangerous results of believing lies is that we let them take control of us! (Think, “Oh but I couldn’t do THAT because… {insert lie here such as, I’m too fat, I’m too poor, I’m not smart enough, I’m ugly}” so you never do it, and the lie controls you). When we give lies credence and follow their direction, we delete our own authenticity. We deny who we were created to be. We are designed and created a specific and awesomely unique way by the Master Creator, and WHO should know better about what will please us and fill our soul?

If you would like to “check out” whether you are believing lies, there are many women you already know whom are filled with wisdom–from experience, reading, searching–who would be willing to talk with you. Most of them are probably older (thus the experience) but there are also young women who have already “lived” a lot. For me, talking to a friend who displays wisdom and has a certain levity (to counteract my sometimes-off-the-wall passion) has been helpful in determining what is actually truth and which lies I’m allowing to take control of my life. I’ve also had to spend time “going inside” (ugh, not always pretty!) to assess and determine my true character and those things I really hold important.

12-lies-stop-telling

My desire is to STOP BELIEVING LIES about myself.

So, do you think it’s easy to avoid accepting lies about us as truth?  Um, no! To discern lies, we have to be militant snipers because of the subtle, yet pervasive, nature of them. And if you’re thinking that you are free from this plague, let me alert you to the nature of lies by giving you examples from my life (can we say transparent?). Until recently, I have believed I was too loud, too big, too boisterous, not smart, not humorous, not fun.

WHAT? I know, right? How in the WORLD could I possibly believe all those lies about me?

Well, it’s pretty easy, because, I assure you, people don’t say to you, “Now I’m going to lie to your face” before their opinions about you come gushing out! We actually begin believing lies from infancy (think of gender conditioning). Here are a few examples of how some of mine happened (in abbreviated narration).

Example: As a third grader I was told I was too big to be a ballerina. Translation: being big would keep me from my dreams. It was a curse. It was ugly.

Example: when I got very excited and “cheered” in support of something (yes, I was in church, but it was a military rally type thing, after all) I was told I’d had “too much coffee”. Translation: being spontaneous, loud, or passionate was a bad thing (especially in church!).

Example: when I’d laugh loudly I was told to shush. Translation: my laugh was bad. Hold it in. Being loud was not a good thing. (Problem is that I’m just a loud person naturally and I was always being told to be quiet).

Example: I catch on to the punchline in movies and jokes about a second before others do. I have an abundant sense of humor and so I laugh….before everyone else….which means I get looks from people….and my laugh is too loud…Translation: hold it in. Humor is bad. Ugh!

Example: whenever I’d have an opinion that was different from a significant person in my life, I was told that I am too hard-headed, or that I wouldn’t ever listen to anyone, and why did I even bother to ask if I wasn’t going to listen. (Don’t people know I sometimes just like to talk about things in order to process?) So I really began to doubt my own intelligence.

I don’t know if any of these made sense to you, but these are lies that I received whether they were intended or not.

Thank goodness for my friend who helped to identify my false belief system! And I began to read, discover, and analyze only to find that I was believing many lies that others had “said” about me. These people weren’t vicious or even intentional in their lying. In fact,  lies from those who loved me were the hardest to uncover, because they were usually “told” by people’s responses (comments or body language) to my life and actions .

We ALL have opinions. It happens that the opinions of my family, teachers, and peers were more important to me than searching for truth. For many years, I believed those things about myself, but no more!

I’ve begun the habit of speaking truth to myself. It’s funny, I don’t even care if others believe what I say, I know these things to be true anyway. (I’ve come a long way, Baby!) Here we go–here’s MY truth:
“I am quite intelligent and a good problem-solver. I am lovely. I am creative. I have a great sense of humor and I’m a fun person. Actually, I’m an amazing person. I’m powerful and make good choices. I can accomplish a lot!”

Just a few of the things I now tell myself. First time I said them I was ready to jump back in case lightening struck!! Really. It was almost like blasphemy, or against the rules, to affirm myself. Don’t want to be egotistical, you know. But there is a huge difference between a dominant ego and a healthy self-esteem.

As a mom I realize we say things to our children, not meaning for them to be received as a “truth” about them. What I do is give my children LOTS of truth to counteract what my other words may have “said” to them.

Example: You have got to be quiet! Your noise is driving me crazy!  Counteracted with: I don’t know what I would do without you. I love you with all my heart. You are so precious to me.

My parents loved me, without a doubt. However, they were short on the words that would have helped my tender ego believe truth. Not a criticism, just a fact. I am trying to be more conscious of the words I use with my children, but I’m not always successful with the positive. So, I make sure to give them tons of praise, love and mushy stuff from my heart. Just in case. In case they “hear” more than I’m saying. In case they ever have doubts about how much I love them. In case they wonder if they are the world to me. Just so they know, without a doubt, they are loved unconditionally, they are beautiful just the way they are, and that they are precious treasures who make my life complete. 🙂

And I deserve the same consideration. I deserve the same love from myself. I am worth believing the TRUTH. And so are you! Let me know how you do with your “Lie Busting!” Hugs and love.

Passionista Mimi

OH, and hey, if you like what you read, why not share the love and click, pin, like, etc.? I’d give you an extra big hug. Thanks!