Inspiration, Keepin' It Real

How? Speaking The Name of Jesus!

If you had known me for the last several decades, you would know that I’ve walked though some pretty deep valleys.

There has been an awful lot of loss in my life. Both my parents and both of my siblings died of cancer. So my whole immediate family is gone. I lost my beautiful home. I lost my twenty-eight-year marriage and all the dreams of growing old together and sharing sweet milestones with our late-in-life-adopted children. I’ve lost close friendships and I’ve lost relationships that devastated me. I became a single parent when my two special-needs children were only seven years old, creating huge demands on me, both physically and emotionally. I lost my ex-husband, the papa of our children, when they were only ten years old. I have suffered extreme heartache and been in deep depression. I’ve faced fear, anxiety, inadequacy, hopelessness, and still battle loneliness.

Do you ever wonder how I do it? How I live this life?

How have I made it through those hard times to where I can be full of faith, pray for others, remain positive, and fulfill my purpose in spite of setbacks?

Jesus.

 

There is a war for ownership of our hearts. Only Jesus can defeat–and HAS defeated–the enemy who bombards our wounded hearts with hopelessness, depression, anxiety, fear, abandonment, and many more debilitating emotions.

So I pray, in His name,–“Jesus!” There is power and peace in His name.

This, this song, expresses how I pray over people, my family, the babies, our future. I speak Jesus. Only Jesus.

 

“I pray that you will continually experience the immeasurable greatness of God’s power,

made available to you through faith.

Then your lives will be an advertisement of this immense power as it works through you.”

Ephesians 1:18

Oh yes, I want my life to advertise God’s power. In order for this to happen, I have to NEED His power, have to be desperate for Him. And that takes walking through some pretty tricky times, which others happen to witness. Being able to call on God and have Him rescue me has shown me His immeasurable greatness and given me much faith!

There is power in the name of Jesus!

 

“Your name is power, Your name is healing, Your name is life.

Break every stronghold, shine through the shadows, burn like the fire.”

 

Do yourself a favor and give this song a listen. It could change your life.

 

I’m so grateful there are people who write things I feel! That write music which allows me to worship. There are so many gifted writers and musicians! And I praise God for His creative power in them!

 

How about you? Have you ever heard this song? 

Did it speak to you? What do you think of it?

I’d love for you to comment so I know how you feel.

 

Until next time, may you be hugely blessed by the One who holds the world, and I hope, your heart–Jesus!

Passionista Mimi

 

 

Raw Honest Brave

God Is The Great “Recycler”

Okay, so this post is very open and raw. I have made myself vulnerable in order to reach you. I’m telling another part of my story. I believe that God wants to use all of our experiences as a way to connect with–and maybe bring hope to–another person’s heart. I’m really glad that He does that. It makes the rotten stuff worth a lot more. Let me begin…

Sometimes we just feel like garbage. I’m not talking about when we are sick and our bodies feel “trashed”. What I mean is how we fell when someone degrades us, or we can’t accomplish something we have worked really hard at. Or when we realize that we have screwed up big time. Or we disappoint someone whom we love deeply. Everyone feels this way at some time(s) in their life.

However, when abuse has been a building block of a person’s life, like mine, “feeling like trash” persistently winds its way through our lives, intertwining our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and affecting our quality of life.

Pictures7

Abuse can tear away at our spirit, making us vulnerable to lies. It can crumble and deteriorate self-confidence. It can take away our sense of worth and purpose. Basically, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse will change our quality of life. Forever.

My sexual abuse happened when I was very young. Like many, I showed the classic signs of being abused, but didn’t realize it until I was in my forties. In the early 1990s–before we became aware of statistics revealing that one in four girls will suffer abuse by their eighteenth birthdaya sexual abuse case happened within our church membership. It really tilted our world! This was before the internet explosion, with check lists and resources for those who had been abused. And many of us who had been were living in ignorance, or denial. 

Because our congregation was totally unprepared to deal with the chaos and ravaged emotions this abuse case caused, we hosted an all-day seminar to educate us on how to work through it. During the seminar I began to realize I had shown behaviors indicating abuse in my own life. This often happens to those victims who have suppressed memories as they begin to learn about sexual abuse.  I remembered some rather disturbing interactions with family members. I acknowledged my promiscuity, and the careless attitude toward sex. I realized that my need for attention and the feelings of never being enough could be rooted in sexual abuse, as could my low self-esteem and dislike of myself. Like I said, abuse will intertwine all aspects of our lives. And quite honestly, I fell apart. My tightly-held-together-world began crumbling.

The good news? (Yes there is good news.) It’s possible to find hope and healing. Not in a day or two. Maybe not in a year or two. It’s been a process (how I came to hate that word), removing the effects of abuse layer by layer. I needed to completely reprogram my brain to stop believing the lies (I’m worthless, used up, can’t be good enough, no one will want me like this, I’m garbage, I’m ugly) and believe truth instead (I’m created for a purpose, full of worth, I’m a priceless treasure, I’m more than enough just like I am, I’m beautiful and intelligent and amazing).

The process involved teaming up with a woman of great wisdom who could direct me to God’s truth and identify the lies I believed. I began to read books on the subject of abuse, co-dependency, and emotional healing. I read over and over how God could and would “make me new” (“The former things have passed away… behold, I make all things new.” Rev. 21:5). I chose to renew my mind, rather than dwell on what had happened, because I wanted to change. (Not nearly as easy as I make it sound!) I did not want the abuse to have power over me any more and control my behaviors and thoughts. I realize my abuse was relatively mild (if that’s possible) compared to others I’ve come to know or have read about. However the root of it still caused damage in my emotions and spirit and shows how even the smallest offense of sexual abuse can wreak havoc in a life. It was as if my emotional DNA had been changed.

abuse

One garbage collection day, while I was picking up the recycle bin and looking at all the ”throw away” bottles and boxes, I immediately pictured my life and those of others like me whose life-scripts had been altered by abuse.  We often feel like a throw away–used up, soiled goods that nobody would want. But immediately my mind raced to the finish, or rather, what is being completed in me. I am NO LONGER a throwaway. I never really was, though I was sure of it.

And God has, indeed, done a new thing in my life. I am a totally different person!  Visions of the many wonderful recycled products we can see–that look nothing like their item of origin–came dancing through my mind. Those items have been completely “made new”! And that is exactly how I feel. I am just a shadow of the person I was.

All things made new

I realize that living this many years has given me a wealth of experience to fuel my self-confidence. However, it wasn’t until ten years ago that I really began to blossom into this crazy, passionate, outspoken, fun-loving and confident woman. (Unfortunately I had to leave an emotionally abusive relationship before I could fully bloom, but that’s a story for another time).

If you have encountered abuse, my heart goes out to you. With everything in me, I hope you will take steps toward healing and hope.

1*I encourage you to find someone you can talk with, someone who will love you honestly and help you see truth. Identify the lies you have believed.

2*Begin to reprogram your brain with new words and ideas (new scripts to play) that speak the truth about you. You have such power! Speak who you want to be and your mind and emotions will follow. I’m proof of that.

“I am loved.”               “I can heal.”               “I am worthy.”           “I am strong.”

“I deserve a life free from the effects of abuse.”           “I am more than enough.”

3*Find something you enjoy doing and do it! Try many things and experiences until you find your niche. Doing this has helped me tremendously!

4*Help someone else. I cannot emphasize this enough! There is such healing that happens when we begin to focus on helping someone. There are people around you who would benefit from your smile, touch, note of encouragement, listening ear, help with housework, yard work, babysitting, groceries, a ride somewhere, reading out loud to a child. Kindness warms our hearts whether we are giving or receiving it. And, I always say that “good multiplies good” in our lives.

Once again this has become a very wordy blog post. To those of you who stayed to the end–BIG hugs!! I hope something I’ve said will help you or enable you to help someone you love. Abuse is horribly prevalent, and our society has become one of broken, “walking wounded”. Let me know if there is any way I can help you. Peace, love, and blessings.

Passionista Mimi

OH, and hey, if you like what you read, why not share the love and click, pin, like, etc.? I’d give you an extra big hug. Thanks!

Inspiration, Keepin' It Real

Sewing the Patches of Our Lives into Wings

Do you feel worn out, ragged, in bits and pieces?

Sometimes we feel as if the world has pulled at us so much that there’s no resemblance to the person we were. And sometimes it’s a good thing, because we needed to change into the glorious creature we are created to be.

The wondrous thing is that as we turn to God, our healer, more and more, and let Him restore us, those bits and pieces become sewn together, intertwined. He takes the broken places of our hearts—the despair, hopelessness, rejection, fear, abandonment, abuse—and infuses us with His love poured completely and thoroughly into our hearts, minds, and spirits. That love has miraculous healing power.

With God’s help and power, as we turn over our wounding and hurts to His touch, we can pick up those raggedy bits and pieces and sew them back together into something glorious. With God’s healing and restoration (if we choose it) we can have wings of freedom above all that wounded us. We can rise above all that has held us down.

It’s a process (I do hate that word) of restoration and only our Creator can do that. But, again, we must choose to let Him. To turn to Him in our despair and allow Him to heal, restore, and help us sew.

There is no glory in staying broken. However, I do believe that the wounds we experience are quite valuable—they give us such wisdom and the experiences can be used to help others. You know, dear one, we were created for His glory and that comes as we are fully free and have victory over the wounds.

Ironically, a patched area can be stronger than the rest of the fabric because it has been reinforced. And that is how I regard my own patched-up life—reinforced by God’s holy “thread” I am much, much stronger now!

So what do you think about this idea? Do you have a few patches of your own? Are you stronger because of them? Do you now have wings?

I’d love to hear from you!

Big sparkle hugs,

Passionista Mimi

Inspiration

He Will Heal The Brokenhearted

A friend of mine is going through a heartbreaking time. I made this for her today, and thought I’d post for anyone else who needs to hear it. The “He” in this quote is God, and the words are from the Bible.

Several years ago, when I was enduring the same kind of emotional devastation she is, knowing this promise kept me sane. I reminded God often that He said He would heal my broken heart, and that He promised He wouldn’t break me (by allowing more than I could bear, or by making me walk through it alone).

On the other side of it now, I will testify that God indeed healed my heart and has given me joy. He walked with me through every difficult decision and day of weeping. And today, He used me to encourage another sister who is where I was. He is there for you, too.

I haven’t posted in quite a while, so someone needs this, or I wouldn’t have put it here today. 

for Katee

If it speaks to you, feel free to print it off and put it where you will see it as a reminder. God will see you through.

Much love and hugs, Mimi

 

Words To Help

The Great Recycler

Sometimes we just feel like garbage. I’m not talking about when we are ill, and our bodies feel like trash. I mean when someone degrades us, or we can’t accomplish something we have worked really hard at. Or when we realize that we have screwed up big time. Or we disappoint someone whom we love deeply. Everyone feels this way at some time(s) in their life.

However, when abuse has been a building block of a person’s life, like mine, “feeling like trash” persistently winds its way through our lives, intertwining our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and affecting our quality of life.

Pictures7

Abuse can tear away at our spirit, making us vulnerable to lies. It can crumble and deteriorate self-confidence. It can take away our sense of worth and purpose. Basically, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse will change our quality of life. Forever.

My sexual abuse happened when I was very young. Like many, I showed the classic signs of being abused, but didn’t realize it until I was in my forties. It became known that a member of our church had abused some of our pre-teen girls, and literally “all hell broke loose”, as you can imagine. This happened in the early 1990s before we became aware of statistics revealing that one in four girls will suffer abuse by their eighteenth birthday. This was before the internet explosion, the daily reminder that abuse is a cancer that is spreading and permeating at an ever-increasing rate. Many of our church members had been living in denial of their own abuse–or ignorance, like me.

Because our congregation was totally unprepared to deal with the chaos and ravaged emotions this knowledge caused, we hosted an all-day seminar to educate us on how to work through it. During this seminar I began to realize I had shown behaviors indicating abuse in my own life, as often happens to those victims who have suppressed memories when they begin to learn about sexual abuse.  I remembered some rather disturbing interactions with family members. I acknowledged my promiscuity, and the careless attitude toward sex. I realized that my need for attention and the feelings of never being enough could be rooted in sexual abuse, as could my low self-esteem and dislike of myself. Like I said, abuse will intertwine all aspects of our lives. And quite honestly, I fell apart. My tightly-held-together-world began crumbling.

The good news? (Yes there is good news.) It’s possible to find hope and healing. Not in a day or two. Maybe not in a year or two. It’s been a process (how I came to hate that word), removing the effects of abuse layer by layer. I needed to completely reprogram my brain to stop believing the lies (I’m worthless, used up, can’t be good enough, no one will want me like this, I’m garbage, I’m ugly) and believe truth instead (I’m created for a purpose, full of worth, I’m a priceless treasure, I’m more than enough just like I am, I’m beautiful and intelligent and amazing).

The process involved teaming up with a woman of great wisdom who could direct me to God’s truth and identify the lies I believed. I began to read books on the subject of abuse, co-dependency, and emotional healing. I read over and over how God could and would “make me new” (“The former things have passed away… behold, I make all things new.” Rev. 21:5). I chose to renew my mind, rather than dwell on what had happened, because I wanted to change. (Not nearly as easy as I make it sound!) I did not want the abuse to have power over me any more and control my behaviors and thoughts. I realize my abuse was relatively mild (if that’s possible) compared to others I’ve come to know or have read about. However the root of it still caused damage in my emotions and spirit and shows how even the smallest offense of sexual abuse can wreak havoc in a life. It was as if my emotional DNA had been changed.

abuse

One garbage collection day, while I was picking up the recycle bin and looking at all the ”throw away” bottles and boxes, I immediately pictured my life and those of others like me whose life-scripts had been altered by abuse.  We often feel like a throw away–used up, soiled goods that nobody would want. But immediately my mind raced to the finish, or rather, what is being completed in me. I am NO LONGER a throwaway. I never really was, though I was sure of it.

And God has, indeed, done a new thing in my life. I am a totally different person!  Visions of the many wonderful recycled products we can see–that look nothing like their item of origin–came dancing through my mind. Those items have been completely “made new”! And that is exactly how I feel. I am just a shadow of the person I was.

All things made new

I realize that living this many years has given me a wealth of experience to fuel my self-confidence. However, it wasn’t until four years ago that I really began to blossom into this crazy, passionate, outspoken, fun-loving and confident woman. (Unfortunately I had to leave an emotionally abusive relationship before I could fully bloom, but that’s a story for another time).

If you have encountered abuse, my heart goes out to you. With everything in me, I hope you will take steps toward healing and hope.

*I encourage you to find someone you can talk with, someone who will love you honestly and help you see truth. Identify the lies you have believed.

*Begin to reprogram your brain with new words and ideas (new scripts to play) that speak the truth about you. You have such power! Speak who you want to be and your mind and emotions will follow. I’m proof of that.

“I am loved.”               “I can heal.”               “I am worthy.”           “I am strong.”

“I deserve a life free from the effects of abuse.”           “I am more than enough.”

*Find something you enjoy doing and do it! Try many things and experiences until you find your niche. Doing this has helped me tremendously!

*Help someone else. I cannot emphasize this enough! There is such healing that happens when we begin to focus on helping someone. There are people around you who would benefit from your smile, touch, note of encouragement, listening ear, help with housework, yard work, babysitting, groceries, a ride somewhere, reading out loud to a child. Kindness warms our hearts whether we are giving or receiving it. And, I always say that “good multiplies good” in our lives.

Once again this has become a very wordy blog post. To those of you who stayed to the end–BIG hugs!! I hope something I’ve said will help you or enable you to help someone you love. Abuse is horribly prevalent, and our society has become one of broken, “walking wounded”. Let me know if there is any way I can help you. Peace, love, and blessings.

Passionista Mimi

 

OH, and hey, if you like what you read, why not share the love and click, pin, like, etc.? I’d give you an extra big hug. Thanks!