I say I love and follow Jesus with all of my heart. But the true story is that I can only love with the part that’s been healed from its wounding. Feeling abandoned and rejected, looking for love in all the wrong places because of my abuse (can I get an amen?), not loving myself and who I am—these things kept me from fully loving God (and others) and I needed to be healed and my heart restored. And let me tell you—that’s been a process! And not a lot of fun. But being able to live freely as who I am, without the lies haunting me, has been worth it.
Satan—the enemy of our souls whose only intent is to kill, steal, and destroy those whom God created—begins his diabolical wounding of us from birth and never stops until our death. He uses other people, life circumstances, and even natural disasters, to plant seeds of bitterness and despair in our hearts, often crippling our ability to love God wholeheartedly.
For example, if someone you love has fought a disease and you prayed for and believed in their healing but still that person dies, what do you do? Satan wants you to be so angry at God that you turn away from Him and live your life in bitterness and despair. God wants you to turn to Him, lean on Him so He can help you with your pain, can carry you, walk with you, and begin to heal the wounding caused by grief and loss.
God gave us the Holy Spirit, and He gives us the power to overcome in these situations. He helps our brain wrap around the loss and deal with the lack of answers. He helps us see that disease does not come from God’s hand, and that He is not punishing you or your loved one. And most of all He can give us peace, even in the midst of our loss. And a promise. I’m so thankful that I can rest on the promise of seeing my family (every member of my original family, except me, has died) in heaven, a place prepared for those who love God.
So what about the wounding that happens during our lifetime, even as children? When I began to understand that I’d been abused as a young child, which led to behaviors that wounded me even more, I had a choice. I could have been mad that God “let” those things happen. Or I could turn to Him as the Healer of those wounds—the only way I could spend the rest of my life wholly restored.
God’s desire and design is to heal those broken places
and heart issues in us.
As I drew closer to Him and spent time getting to know Him, He revealed to me the areas in my heart that needed healing, that had caused me to build walls around my heart.
As we go deeper with Him, He goes deeper into our hearts to reveal and heal. It takes time and I’ll never say it is easy (think surgery). It takes relinquishing. It takes us giving Him permission.
God wants to heal and renew us. He knew that the enemy of our souls would seek to destroy us and keep us from a relationship with Him. He made a way for us to live healed! Jesus came that we may have life in fullness, but that takes being restored to the glory God created for us.
John Eldredge says it this way,
“Your deepest convictions—the ones that really shape your life—are somewhere in the depths of your heart.
As God restores more of your story and broken heart, you will be able to live in the fullness of God’s promise,
the promise of a life set free”
Excerpt from Restoration Year: A 365 Day Devotional.
Write this down:
As I am healed and the walls are removed, the larger my faith, trust, and capacity to love God become.
The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy but I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10
Therefore if anyone is in Christ he is a new creature. The old has passed away, new things have come. 2 Cor. 5:17
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Galatians 5:1
If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36
I will never say that healing from trauma and hurtful experiences is easy, but I will say that healing is worth it. And Jesus is waiting to walk you through it. Just call on Him, He is near.
And I’ll be praying for your blessings, healing, and a life of fullness! Let me know how it goes.