I really did. To take the kids someplace, just to get outside, away for a while. But my little home is a Christmas Wonderland, and I am quite reluctant to leave it. I guess I’ve made it too cozy, if that’s possible. Well, I guess it’s possible because I don’t want to ever leave.
And guess what? I don’t have to. I am the captain(ess) of this ship, and I decided to dock it for a while and just relax. Remember that word? Re-lax. Not to be confused with “be lax”, which connotes not doing my job. Sometimes relaxing IS my job. (Jump back Jack, lightening is gonna strike!) And lately I’ve become accepting of my desire to do so.
For many years, I ran like crazy. Constantly going, doing, organizing, caring for, working etc. I got pretty worn out. And that was before I adopted children! I still do all of those things, but to a lesser degree. Took me several years to not feel guilty if I decided to read a book all day. I would remind myself that I’d worked really, really hard for over 40 years, and was often still working hard now. So it was ok if I wanted to sit all day. Strange that I’d think I needed to validate my guilty pleasure of reading.
But you see, my mama was always tearing around. In fact my whole family lived a very full, busy, often exhausting calendar. Especially around Christmas. Daddy was a preacher, mama a teacher, and we were all involved in musical programs in school and church. Barely had time to breathe.
So right now, right here, I am soaking up the season. Listening to Christmas music. Delighting in having my children close by. Gazing at the lights. Creating decorations. Enjoying the vintage items surrounding me with their stories of my past and my family. Oh, life is just so good!
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