“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. And I give to them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” John 10:27-28
I love this so much! If we are a follower of Jesus and have a relationship with him, we are one of his sheep. Now while a sheep isn’t the most aspiring animal to identify with (I prefer the lion, please) there is a reason for its being used here. When Jesus spoke to crowds in person he used visuals and stories that the people of that day and area could identify with. He painted word pictures as illustrations for his listeners.
To many people where Jesus lived, sheep were their livelihood—their business, and to those who tended the sheep, their lifestyle. Throughout the Bible, scripture refers to Jesus as our Shepherd. The concept of this is beautifully reassuring and it’s not an accident that Jesus used this analogy in the scriptures. But in case people had no clue, there are many verses that spell out what it means to be a good shepherd:
“He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young”. Isaiah 40:11
“I am the Good Shepherd, the good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep.” John 10:11
This verse is poignant because Jesus did lay down His life on the cross.
Because sheep don’t have a defense system, they are helpless without a shepherd. The shepherd takes care of all their needs.
“The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing.” Psalm 23:1
So sheep are totally dependent on their shepherd. And because they spend all of their time together they get to know each other, as funny as that sounds. The shepherd learns their personalities—which one likes to wander too far away, which one is a bully, which one is a great caregiver to orphans. All day on the hillside the shepherd sang and talked to his sheep—sometimes to calm them, or to urge them to move, or just to pass the time. When he had to fetch them or round them up for the night he had a special whistle or call he used. It was important that they heard him and followed his command, because night brought out the hungry animals that preyed on the sheep. The shepherd watched all night to keep them safe.
Let’s revisit “My sheep hear my voice.” Do you believe that God speaks to us today? He really does! The Holy Spirit who is in us (as part of the trinity of God) speaks to us as we read scripture and makes it come alive to us. God uses other people to speak his heart and word to us. And the Holy Spirit also speaks to us the more we commune with God and take time tolisten—it’s then we learn how to identify his voice.
There is a place within me where I hear his spirit talk to me. (Does that seem weird to you?) Sometimes his voice is very clear, in specific words, like these he said to me when I was belaboring the decision to adopt: “Of what eternal value is it to have a beautiful home? I need you to rescue that baby and make him your own.” Folks I heard that in my spirit as clearly as if he were standing in the room. You may think I’m looney, but it doesn’t change the facts.
Sometimes his voice comes to me in mind-pictures which give me wisdom on a situation. Or many times he reveals his voice as I write in my journal.
It’s pretty incredible to have him pour through me. I’ve been journaling a long time, but the first time I actually had God give me a “word” as I was writing was in 1992. I wrote for forty-five minutes with his voice in my spirit as the words flowed out.
I really didn’t want to hear what He was saying—so I know it didn’t come from my own imagination! But the experience blew me away and was imprinted on my mind and heart in detail so I remember it clearly to this day.
God had given me songs and poems and words for people before this. Let me tell you what happens when the Holy Spirit speaks through you—the words bypass your brain and you become an instrument of the Lord. As one who prefers to be in control (still struggle at times) and as a teacher who taught all about using words, it’s a rather strange experience to not use my brain to write! (The songs that came from his spirit I had to catch on a tape recorder because I did not know them at all and I am not a composer. I do not write music. I recorded them so I could learn them to sing for worship at church. It was all rather bizarre to say the least!)
So anyway, I’d had experience hearing his voice before this particular time. But in that particular word he spoke of difficult times to come (my husband leaving me). He spoke of the mess of things (yes, and I thought I was already going through difficult times!). And mostly he spoke to me of his love and that he’d be with me every step of the way. He reassured me that in him I was strong enough to make it through the hard time ahead of me.
Sometimes our wounded-ness causes us to turn to people (Jesus with skin on) more than to God. Our hearts and attention wander but he brings us back. Only he truly knows us and what we need to develop the close communion he desires with us. Did you understand that? Incredible as it is, God wants fellowship with us!
My attention had been on other people—trying to please them and be what I thought they wanted me to be, which led to resentment, frustration, and even anger. Jealousy had come to reside in my heart, along with its comrades Not Good Enough and Comparison.
I was a mess and my own spirit was so full of trying to cope and survive that God’s voice was pretty hard to hear at times. I was looking to others for my affirmation and reason for being. But God used this difficult time to begin setting me free. As it is with defeating all destructive patterns of behavior, the process took a while, but this was the real beginning—cutting the ties of people-pleasing. Because during this time there were a lot of people mad at me, feeling as if the change that was happening and my husband’s leaving were my fault. And to a certain degree I was a part of it.
Like God’s word to me foretold, my husband did leave me. It was the most excruciatingly painful time I’ve ever lived through. Abandonment, rejection, people-pleasing, measuring up—these had all been evil companions during my life, and now they were having a heyday! Add the extreme loneliness and heartbreak and the potential for disaster was there.
I am now thankful for that time because I had nowhere to turn except to the Shepherd of my soul. I began spending a lot of time talking with God and him with me, which was quite amazing. I’m glad I was journaling because, although there was deep, deep hurt and wounding, my relationship with God grew in a way I don’t think it ever would have.
I was dependent on him for everything (sound like a sheep?). I alone was paying all of our household bills. I had lost my closest friends through this. My mind was easily overcome with despair. The enemy constantly barraged me with the lies about how stupid and useless I was. Financially stretched, terribly lonely, criticized by friends, I could only turn to God, which was the best thing I could do. He lovingly cared for me, tended my wounds, and His spirit ministered to me in my despair. His strength flowed through me so I could make it through another day. His communion was sweeter than I ever could have imagined.
So I listened, and heard his voice. Eventually I was able to follow him through forgiveness and then restoration:
“He restores my soul.” Psalm 23:3
Restores also means he renewed my life, refreshed me, gave me strength, and brought me back to health. All of these He did for me.
“For I will restore you to health and I will heal you of your wounds, declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 30:17
Jesus tenderly, like a Shepherd, tended my wounds and brought my heart to health. As with all healing it took time, but he did restore my soul. He is so faithful to those who love him!
“God You have made known to me the paths of life, you have filled me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” Psalm 16:11
I am depending on him to help me walk through this life, to guide me, as a Shepherd does. There are so many scriptures that talk about this! When I stay close to him, he leads me. I pray with all my heart that I will always hear the voice of my Shepherd. Won’t you be a sheep with me?
These are my stories—my life. I try to write honestly, raw, and from my heart. I try to tell all the parts—the good, the hard, the tough, the hopeful, and the emotional.
But most importantly, I am here to be found by you. I am open-hearted, and I won’t hide.
When I share my story, my words, and my experiences you may see yourself in them.
I make myself vulnerable, hoping that you might learn and heal.
We all need healing. The world can be cruel. Sometimes life can break us.
But there is joy and hope to be found. I pray that I may lead you to the One who can give them to us.
So, who am I?
*I’m an educator at heart–it’s in my blood.
*I’m a highly emotional person–I identify that as “passion”.
*I’m a late-life mom to two amazing and beautiful (adopted) children who have physical, mental, and psychological differences from “typical” children.
*I’m in my “Sensational Sixties”. I’ve lived a lot. I’ve learned a lot. And I’ve healed a lot.
I hope you will join me in my quest to live for God, to live fully, and to spread truth!
Please visit my website http://www.passionistaatlarge.org/ to see more about me, and perhaps invite me to speak for your group!
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